What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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Punching a baby

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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