What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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My name is Harry.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

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Japanese study of the stereotypical American man: Murica: Come on come on! Japanese: Uh yes? *walks toward American* Murica: Are you okay?! Japanese: Well yes I am doi.. Murica: BUSTER WOLF *Punches Japanese which smacks into the ground critically wounded. Murican: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! *throws dirty trucker cap at Japanese man and leaves.* BEWARE OF THE TYPICAL AMERICAN! Study 2 American man, taught Japanese Discipline: Japanese: Herrow Mr.Educated American *bows* "Japanesed Murican": *Fighting Pose* " I SHALL STAIN MY HANDS, WITH YOUR BLOOD!" *Japanese people run away* Experiment fail. BEWARE EXTREMELY OF AMERICAN MAN! Nero: Nuking Japan probably created a few controversies and wrong stereotypes... After visiting the US several times, I find these manners to be of the Texan stereotype though... Educated Murican: PREDICTABO!

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Long joke Your such a downey

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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