THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

Are you a tree

Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...