Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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Shea's sty....

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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A seal walks into a club.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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