Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

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Robert Mugabe.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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L's I's that took Viagra.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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