Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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