Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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