What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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Black people having a Job.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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