Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Your social life.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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