A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

25

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Were can you find a bag of meth?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops