A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I bet you read this. Told ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a person who kills a black? A black man

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops