A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Justin Bieber hits puberty

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops