What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

Win industrial estate, Newry

How do you kill a black man There is many ways

What do you call two dog? dogs

I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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