A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

thumb_up thumb_down -3

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Blake wilkeys hair style

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops