Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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