What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who's there? Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops