Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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