How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

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#Hanging Degus

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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Shut the cork up!

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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