Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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poop

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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hey

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops