Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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A young baby died.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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