Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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Woman rights.

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops