Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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I can't see my forehead

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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vaginas

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops