What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

Dogs in my home.

theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

Nicolas Cage

Jamie stegman has no life he is a nerd while his sister is giving him a z-j while jacob comes in and starts rubbing the lamp and then the crazy man ate the orange then farted in all of there face. NeonFAILsky xoxo

Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

Sophie Cameron is Gay

what do you call a gay guy Ej

How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

Knock knock. Come in.

milly, milly, milly, cat

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

Your mom.

Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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