A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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i like tits

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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