What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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