Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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There once was a man from Kentucky...then he raped everyone in sight... THE END

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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oooh look a banshee

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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