Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

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Deadly cancer.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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knock, knock come in

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

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Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops