Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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School

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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Your Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops