Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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How much fun does a gay guy have? A butt load.

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What did the young boy get His dad for fathers day? Nothing, his dad died from a very aggresive cancer

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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Gianni

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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*you're

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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