Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a jewish man walks down the street a hispanic man walks down the street a black man walks down the street an irish man walks down the street and into a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Matt is not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Darude- Sandstorm

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops