What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Wombat monkey juice.

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

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69

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Spell: “This word”

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops