Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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