Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

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One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Welcome to die!

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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