Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats black? a black man

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I hate blackniggers

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's an Anti Joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops