What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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Guess what.. chicken butt

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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why did the ginger get made fun of? because he had red hair

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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