How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

Women's rights.

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

69

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

Oh, I must be hearing things.

Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...