A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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Matt is not funny.

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Men's Sports

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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