How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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Turn around.

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A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

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how do you confuse a blond?

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops