Knock knock. Come in.

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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