why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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