Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

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all these jokes suck ass

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why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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#scabbers

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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