Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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Ebola

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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Alex Eggbert

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Minecraft.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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mark is mark

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Knock knock, Come in...

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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