What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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The 13th Amendment...

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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