What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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guess what no i know what your thinking, its NOT chickenbutt. its that tomorrow i have a math test. that sucks.

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Women's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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Why did the man burn all the children? He was a psychopath.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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