whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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I have read and agree to the terms of service.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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