Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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lyren is a big meanyhead

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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