whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

Jason Connor.

A baby seal walks into a club.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

You smell like shit

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

I have read and agree to the terms of service.

Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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