What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +24

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I tell an anti joke!.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

69

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +22

an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops