Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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