Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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fack me!

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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69

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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