What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Romney 2012

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What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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