What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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don't look behind you

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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