A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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this is a joke

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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joe diragi makes paul look straight

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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