I got shot once it hurt a lot

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I LOVE YOUR MOMA CAUSE SHE STINKS OF POO :) BY VICKY CASSIDY, RENATA SZABO, ELLA AND HEIDI MCMILLAN

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I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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what's red and blue? your heart

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what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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